Vacuums Suck

I'm not sure if you guys have noticed, but I've started gearing my acts of building kindness more toward strangers. I like doing things for everyone, including my friends and family, but it seems best for the mission to spread the kindness out as far as I can take it.

This weekend I went to a self service car wash here in Bellevue to clean out my truck. I had just finished vacuuming the inside when I overheard the lady on the other side of the vacuum complaining to her daughter that the machine had taken her money and wasn't working. It's not very often that an opportunity to build kindness falls into my lap like that, so couldn't help but offer assistance.

Even though I had overheard her talking to her daughter, I played it cool and asked her is she was having trouble with her side of the vacuum. She confirmed, so I pointed out that my side was working well, and that I would be happy to give her 75 cents since she had already spend her money on the broken side. She said thank you for giving up the vacuum, but denied my offer to reimburse her money. I was going to let it pass, but then I noticed her digging through her purse to find a dollar to break at the change machine. I reiterated my offer and, told her that I wouldn't take no for an answer. To prove my persistence I went ahead and put my change in the machine and handed her the hose to the running vacuum. She laughed and said thank you again.

I thought about giving her one of the blog cards, but decided not to unless she said something to me again. The way it worked out, I finished everything I needed to do before she was done vacuuming, so we never got the opportunity to talk a second time. When I look back, I'm happy with the way it played out. I like the idea of people who have never met me coming to the blog and reading about my exploits, but the idea of handing someone a card out of the blue like that seems a little creepy. I could see her being like... "What does he do, hang out at the car wash all day waiting for someone to need help?"

What do you think I should have done? Card or no card?

First-Class Kindness

I went to the post office today to mail a bill and a great building kindness idea came to me.

It used to be that there was a contraption out front where you could insert some change to buy single stamps, but apparently coins are archaic, and that machine has been replaced with a newer model that reads debit/credit cards. The only problem is you can't buy just one stamp. The smallest denomination available is 18 stamps for just under $8. If you want to buy fewer than 18 stamps, you have to wait in line for a postman. I don't know if it was the time of day I went, or if the place is always packed like that, but the line to the counter was long. So, I did what any normal American would do in the situation... I chalked one up for convenience and bought way more than I needed.

This was when the idea came to me...

I figured that there are probably several people each day that only need one stamp, so I went out to my truck and cut three stamps from my sheet of 18. I got out three Build Kindness cards, and using some handy painters tape, I attached one stamp to the back of each card. Beside the stamps I wrote "first-class kindness" on each of the cards. I took the postage-loaded cards inside and left one on each of the package prep tables in the post office.

How many opportunities to build kindness do you pass up each day? It cost me less than $1.50 to help three people today. Can you think of other ways for using an overabundance of something to benefit others? I'd love to hear what you come up with!

Kindness Sunday

To all the sporty folks out there... remember when the greatest reward for a game well played was ice cream or cokes with the team. In Fairview, Sonic was the consummate favorite for post game shenanigans. At the time, I thought we always went there because that's where we (the kids) wanted to go. We knew Sonic for its ice cream treats and soft drink variety... but now that I'm older, I am starting to see Sonic more from the the parents' prospective. Yes, the place has great eats and treats, but Sonic has tons of post athletics logistical advantages too.

Just think about it. You've got a double digit group of dirty, loud, excited little kids. Do you want to take them to O'Charley's?! No, you want to go somewhere that's outside, informal and caters to the hyper. You want to take them to Sonic. At Sonic parents don't need to worry about changing their kids out of their cleats and uniforms. When the little brats start reliving the game's most exciting plays in full volume and real time speed, parents can confidently step back and allow them their moments of glory.

I'm thinking about Sonic because... well, that's what highly intelligent Middle Tennesseans do when the weather makes an upward turn for Spring and softball season is on the horizon. I have a lot of good memories from my times at Sonic. Even as twenty-something adults, it remains a post game ritual for a group of us go to the Sonic near the softball fields in Franklin for drinks, food and the quintessential Sonic Blast.

Since I like Sonic so much, why no share the love? The picture you see below I taped $2.25 to one of my Build Kindness cards. I thought that it would be neat if I left the card randomly on one of the menu boards. I put it out on Friday, and I know for sure that is was still there Saturday. I didn't check on it again until Thursday, and it was gone. So, success... I think. Someone got it, I just don't know how, when or what they did with it. It would be intriguing to know the circumstances behind the discovery, but I'm not crossing my fingers. Instead, I'd be interested to hear your feedback. What would you think if you found this card? What would you do with the money? Would you go to the blog?

 

That's What He Said

Yesterday I discovered something about my blog. It may be giving some people the wrong impression. 

Jeff's girlfriend (Scheibe's sister) asked me a while back to put up curtains in her new apartment. This was well before I thought about starting "building kindness." I told her that I would do it... yet here it is, several months down the road and I still haven't been over there. 

I figured there's no time like the present, so I wanted to schedule it for this week. I also thought it would be good to get Jeff to assist me. Having been with the same woman for over eight years now, I understand how important it is to do nice things for your significant other. I wouldn't really need him to hang the curtains, but if he helped then he could take the credit for getting it done. Also, it might empower him to do similar things in the future... kind of like the old Chinese proverb, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

I called Jeff and asked him if there was a time this week he'd be free to help and his response was, "You're just doing this for your blog." It hurt my feelings at first, but I can see how he might have thought this. Most people probably define an act of kindness as something you do completely for someone else. Doing something for someone so that it will reflect positively on you is not a random act of kindness. Jeff was obviously thinking I'm doing the blog as extension of the latter.

Have you ever seen one of those large, ornate sand mandalas the Tibetan monks create? Probably not. The reason you've probability never seen one is because after the monks spend weeks creating this amazing work of art, they destroy it. Why? What's the point? They say the doing, the act, is the point... not the gratification from the oohs and ahhs.

I agree with the monks. It is the action that causes the change and that's where the benefit comes from. But who or what are the monks trying to improve? The answer: themselves. It is so true, whenever I do something for someone, it’s like a bright light that forms inward and works its way through every part of me. It hits my emotions, my perceptions, my actions and even my physical body. Each act betters me... but building kindness isn't just about me.

I considered doing my acts randomly and anonymously, but concluded that I wanted to experiment with something new. Random acts obviously spread good (refer to this post for an example), but how far will it go? A random act influences me and the person it is directed toward, but then what? You can hope for the pay it forward desire to kick in (there are definitely great stories of amazing things happening this way), but how sustainable is that? 

The concept of Building Kindness is different. It is continuous. If witnessing a single act of kindness inspires someone to do a single act in return, what would witnessing continuous acts of kindness do? What is the value of drawing people into a community of kindness? I don't have an answer to these questions, but I hope to find out and the blog is my lab.

The problem remains: How do I keep people from perceiving my blog as an attempt to glorify myself? Maybe the first step would be to get them to read it. Another thing I need to do is be more careful about the acts I choose and who I discuss them with outside the blog. If every time I see a friend I mention my blog... of course it would seem like I'm tooting my own horn.

I'm glad Jeff said what he said. It has been thought provoking, and ultimately, it has given me a better understand of my own mission. Thanks for being honest and genuine with me Jeff!

Keep Your Eye on the Ball/Bird

I've been building kindness daily for nearly a month now, and some days I'm really in the zone! I wake up thinking kindness, I work looking forward to kindness, I do kindness, I blog about kindness, and then I go to sleep and dream about kindness (the dream part is an exaggeration).

Unfortunately, not everyday is this concentrated on kindness. Thursday for example, kindness crossed my mind several times, but it was gone just about as quickly as it appeared. The video below is a good metaphor for how my mind treats thoughts about kindness on some days. In the clip, the bird is a thought about kindness. The baseball is another thought that is... apparently more important.



See how fast the bird disappears? I know, I'm terrible.

But if I'm being honest, this is a lot like how last Thursday was for me. I went all day and hadn't come up with anything to do... not because I had kindness-block, but because I just didn't think about it. Luckily, Arby's had me covered. Jen and I went to Arby's (bc we had a coupon and that place is pricey) for dinner and the girl ringing us up asked if we'd like to donate a dollar to the Big Brothers, Big Sisters of America. POW! Instant roll reversal- all my other thoughts immediately became the bird. I quickly responded yes and whipped out an extra buck.

Jen was like, "huh?" and I explained that I hadn't done anything to build kindness today. She laughed her cute little laugh and wrote my name on one of the pieces of paper they use to show off everyone who's donated. Now that I'm letting people read my blog, maybe I'll donate another dollar at Arby's and write BuildKindess.com instead of my name.

Wii Little Mistake

Have you noticed the one-day-impulse-buy phenomenon sweeping the internet? Basically, online retailers are putting single items on sale for the limited time of one day. It's good for the consumers, because they get great deals on things, and it's good for the retailers because they're moving a lot of product and driving traffic to their sites daily.

Woot.com is the originator of this idea. Being the first, they really raked in the dough for a while. But now that there are so many deal-a-day sites, they're starting to lose some followers. To counter this, woot has added a new extension to their original site, sellout.woot.com. The main purpose of sellout.woot is to let other deal sites piggyback off of woots success. It's pretty smart if you think about it. They are going to lose market share no matter what, so at least this way they get paid something when people go to the other sites.

The other day I saw an amazing deal for a rechargeable Wii remote station. It was such a good price, I bought it for my parents. Wednesday it arrived in the mail, so I packed it up and took it to give to them as my act to build kindness for the day. Unfortunately... I left it in the car. It wasn't until Jen and I were headed back home that I remembered the Wii station.

So... today was my first mess-up with the build kindness thing. Sorry Mom and Dad... it's at your house now.

Look at all the major sites doing daily deals now thanks to woot's idea:

• Amazon
• Dell
• eBay
• Wal-Mart
• New Balance
• and my personal favorite... Air Guns Daily
• there are even sites set up to help you make your own daily deal web store... Deal of the Day Shop Solutions

Rustoleum Angels in the Yard

Didn't I just say something in a post about Jana being a messy painter? Well, if you were looking for another reason to parallel the twins, here it is:

This is a photo of their front yard. As you can see, they live in the ghetto. Also, it's obvious that there has been some messy painting going on. This time however... the culprit was Kelsey.

She wasn't tagging her yard. Actually, she was being crafty and used spray paint to jazz up some picture frames. If you're asking yourself, "Why in the front yard for everyone to see?" The answer is... because she already tried it on the kitchen counters, and the result wasn't something that would grow back!

Dun Da Da Dun! Here comes Build Kindness to save the day. Kelsey told me about her predicament and how she couldn't get the paint off her counters. Regular cleaning supplies weren't doing the trick and she was afraid to use something more acidic for fear of making the problem worse. Luckily, I knew of a product at home depot specially formulated for removing paint from laminate.

So Tuesday, while I was at home depot getting supplies for a project I'm working on, I also picked up an 8 ounce tin of Goo Gone. That night when Jen and I had dinner with the twins and Schiebe at Pei Wei, I gave it to them. If we're lucky, maybe Kelsey will be kind enough to add some first hand commentary on her experience.

Need a locked door opened? Don't call a Smith, call an Anderson.

Monday, my mom called to see if I would come to her house and break into my granny's truck. Apparently my granny had a doctors appointment and was at my parent's place so my mom and her could go together. The thing is, she locked her keys in her car. My mom knows that I'm handy and getting into locked places just so happens to be one of my talents. So, as my act to build kindness for the day, I swung by my house to pick up some tools and headed there to help. All and all, it took me about 3 minutes to open her truck, but it got me thinking. One, why did my mom think to call me first, and two, why was she right?

It's intriguing to think about how things from our childhood mold us as adults. For example, the summer before my 8th grade year, my family moved to a house located on a secluded street directly behind the middle and high schools. When I rode my bike, chipped golf balls, roller-bladed or wanted to be mischievous... I'd usually gravitate to school property.

Yeah, I'll admit it, I was a mischievous kid. But, I was a product of my situation. During the day, school was all about rules and was filled with rule enforcing teachers. The thing was, when school was out and all the kids went home, the rules enforcers left too. That left me all alone, free to turn the school into my playground.

I remember my first time going inside the school when no one else was there. I stayed in the hallways and creeped like a scared mouse around every corner. The next few times, the front door was locked, so I went around the building trying every door until one opened. On the occasions that I got inside, I was vigilant and quiet, doing things like using the computers or looking at books in the library. Eventually, I took ownership of the school. I started jamming exterior locks with homemade paper contraptions and I taught myself to open interior doors with a credit card. I learned that the best place to roller-blade wasn't on the sidewalks, but down the halls. The best place to go during hide-and-seek was in the ceiling or on the roof. I knew all the ins and outs of the school and I was the only one! When it was all said and done, I had been through every door and in every room.

I wrote on my profile description that "I enjoy more things than anyone else I know." The reason is that I don't perceive limitations like most people. What if my first time in the school I would have been caught by a teacher and punished? I probably would have continued to view the school like everyone else... as a place that gets used between 7:30 and 2:30 and is off limits beyond that. Fortunately, I never got caught and as a result I don't see things like everyone else. I look at each day as an opportunity for adventure and change, and I envision that there can be more to life than the average or the norm. I see more than the path that's already been paved; I see the one that doesn't exist yet.

The ironic thing is, my senior year... the principle gave me a key to the school. No joke!

Burger Connoisseur

I'm not known for trying new foods. The twins (Jana and Kelsey) often make fun of me by saying that I only eat chicken strips and french fries. Of course, they're exaggerating. I pass on chicken fingers in favor of cheese burgers close to 90 percent of the time. 

There are a lot of factors that go into choosing a meal. Obviously there is price, taste and portion size, but almost as important is "how is this going to complement my sweet tea?" Beef has proven itself to me. I could sit here and defend my meal selection all day, but the point is I'm right and they're wrong. Nonetheless, I do have to admit that my taste buds have changed since I was younger. More foods taste acceptable to me now, and it doesn't make sense to miss out on good grub because of habit. 

I've done several things to expand my flavor comprehension. Mainly, I've been ordering new things. A couple nights ago I went as far as to tell the waiter at Carrabba's to pick something for me- anything without mushrooms. The meal he showed up with was a grilled chicken stuffed with fontina cheese and prosciutto, topped with a basil lemon butter sauce... and was amazing. Now if I could just find a way to eat new things and build kindness, I'd be in luck.

*insert luck here*

Sunday, I attend the 17th Annual Soup Sunday with Jen and Scheibe. Soup Sunday is a fundraiser where chefs from over 50 Nashville area restaurants dish out their best broths, stews and chowders to hungry do-gooders. All the attendees, along with a handful of celebrity guest judges, taste the soups and vote for their favorites. This year's event was attended by 1500+ people and raised more than $80,000 for Our Kids, an organization that provides medical evaluations and crisis counseling for children struggling with issues of child sexual abuse.

It was both filling and fulfilling. Look at all our empty soup cups.

 

Go Granny Go

So far all of the acts for building kindness that I've done have been smaller. It makes sense that I can't do large things everyday, but it's nice to do something major once in a while. Last Saturday I did my first BIG act to build kindness.

My Granny has had some medical issues lately and she's now reliant on an oxygen tank 24/7. This has created some mobility issues for her. The good news is that last month she was approve for a power chair. The bad news is that she couldn't use it because her house didn't have a ramp.

Insert me, the builder of kindness and wooden structures. My parents bought the materials and I provided the tools, design and labor. If you count picking up the lumber, the hour and a half of driving and the construction itself... the whole project took about 5 hours. Here are a couple pictures. One of me and my brother building the ramp and the other of the completed project.