A Method to the Box

Jana painted for me again today. She drove her own car, so no maintenance required. Instead, as my act to build kindness, I treated her to lunch. Right now Taco Bell has these two NBA Boxes. The one I like is the Volcano Box. It comes with so much food that I had to train myself to eat the whole thing.

I'm not kidding. Here's the secret formula for completing a $5 Volcano Box.

1. The box comes with a drink. Make it a BajaBlast with either light or no ice. It's kinda like Joey Chestnut at the Nathan's hot dog eating contest... you'll need the liquid lubrication to fit everything into your stomach.
2. Back in the day, pre-box era, I'd save my hard shell tacos for last (the longer you let the meat sit in the shell, the less likely the bottom will burst out when you go to eat it). However, for the Volcano Box... you have to mix it up a bit. Start by eating the Volcano Taco. The main reason for eating this first is because it has the most potent taste of all the box items, and it's good to get it out of the way b/c it's not easy to force something hard and spicy down a full stomach. Sip BajaBlast as necessary.
3. Next eat a 2-3 cinnamon twists. We'll be dividing up the twists and and eating them between the main items. This is what I call the whittle effect. Before you know it... all the cinnamon twists will be gone. 
4. Now eat the Regular Taco. If it tastes slightly bland after the Volcano Taco, feel free to ad some hot or fire sauce. Even though the cooling effect is not needed for this item, remember to sip BajaBlast occasionally.
5. Eat a few more cinnamon twists. Notice how they act as a nice palate cleanser, prepping your mouth for the next item. You want about a third of the twists to be left when you're done with this step.
6. Now for the hard part. You're about to tackle the mighty Double Stuffed Volcano Burrito. It's imperative that you commit to eating the whole thing before you start. It's not going to be easy, but with the right resolve... you can do it. Use your hands to level out the burrito. You want each bite to contain roughly the same mass. When you get to the end, I know you'll feel like exploding, but take as big a breath as your compacted chest cavity will allow and power through. 
7. You did it! Now as a treat, go ahead and finish off those tasty little cinnamon twists. You may want to stand up and walk/waddle around. If you have any BajaBlast left, now's a good time to finish this as well. Take the lid off the empty cup so you have something to puke into if the urge hits you. And you're done. Congrats!

As Sr. Charles says... "That is lots and lots in one box. And it's only 5 bucks and that's why it rocks."