The house I've been working on is located in the heart of an area called Forrest Hills, which is an unincorporated section of Nashville between Brentwood and Belle Meade. The problem with working here is that it is very suburban, and my food options are limited. If I want something from one of the standard fast food joints, I have to drive 10 minutes to Brentwood or Green Hills. The only place closer is a gas station on Granny White. Often times that's where I (along with all the other manual-laborers) end up during lunch time.
I was in line at the gas station today and the kid in front of me was having some difficulty buying a Gatorade at the register. He was trying to use a debit/credit card of some kind and it kept coming back with insufficient funds. I could tell the kid was embarrassed, but the guy behind the counter didn't seem to care; he wasn't being the slightest bit discrete about the declination.
It became apparent that the kid had no other means for purchasing the Gatorade and that the cashier was prepared to prolong his humiliation as long as possible. So, that's when I stepped in and offered to pay for the kid's drink along with my food. I gave the kid a kind of I know how it feels look, and the cashier a you should know better glare.
This was the first time I felt uncomfortable trying to build kindness, and I blame the gas station employee. I don't think anyone likes being in that type of situation, but it didn't have to be as awkward as it was. All this does is reiterate the need for more examples of kindness in the world.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Vacuums Suck
I'm not sure if you guys have noticed, but I've started gearing my acts of building kindness more toward strangers. I like doing things for everyone, including my friends and family, but it seems best for the mission to spread the kindness out as far as I can take it.
This weekend I went to a self service car wash here in Bellevue to clean out my truck. I had just finished vacuuming the inside when I overheard the lady on the other side of the vacuum complaining to her daughter that the machine had taken her money and wasn't working. It's not very often that an opportunity to build kindness falls into my lap like that, so couldn't help but offer assistance.
Even though I had overheard her talking to her daughter, I played it cool and asked her is she was having trouble with her side of the vacuum. She confirmed, so I pointed out that my side was working well, and that I would be happy to give her 75 cents since she had already spend her money on the broken side. She said thank you for giving up the vacuum, but denied my offer to reimburse her money. I was going to let it pass, but then I noticed her digging through her purse to find a dollar to break at the change machine. I reiterated my offer and, told her that I wouldn't take no for an answer. To prove my persistence I went ahead and put my change in the machine and handed her the hose to the running vacuum. She laughed and said thank you again.
I thought about giving her one of the blog cards, but decided not to unless she said something to me again. The way it worked out, I finished everything I needed to do before she was done vacuuming, so we never got the opportunity to talk a second time. When I look back, I'm happy with the way it played out. I like the idea of people who have never met me coming to the blog and reading about my exploits, but the idea of handing someone a card out of the blue like that seems a little creepy. I could see her being like... "What does he do, hang out at the car wash all day waiting for someone to need help?"
What do you think I should have done? Card or no card?
This weekend I went to a self service car wash here in Bellevue to clean out my truck. I had just finished vacuuming the inside when I overheard the lady on the other side of the vacuum complaining to her daughter that the machine had taken her money and wasn't working. It's not very often that an opportunity to build kindness falls into my lap like that, so couldn't help but offer assistance.
Even though I had overheard her talking to her daughter, I played it cool and asked her is she was having trouble with her side of the vacuum. She confirmed, so I pointed out that my side was working well, and that I would be happy to give her 75 cents since she had already spend her money on the broken side. She said thank you for giving up the vacuum, but denied my offer to reimburse her money. I was going to let it pass, but then I noticed her digging through her purse to find a dollar to break at the change machine. I reiterated my offer and, told her that I wouldn't take no for an answer. To prove my persistence I went ahead and put my change in the machine and handed her the hose to the running vacuum. She laughed and said thank you again.
I thought about giving her one of the blog cards, but decided not to unless she said something to me again. The way it worked out, I finished everything I needed to do before she was done vacuuming, so we never got the opportunity to talk a second time. When I look back, I'm happy with the way it played out. I like the idea of people who have never met me coming to the blog and reading about my exploits, but the idea of handing someone a card out of the blue like that seems a little creepy. I could see her being like... "What does he do, hang out at the car wash all day waiting for someone to need help?"
What do you think I should have done? Card or no card?
Monday, March 29, 2010
First-Class Kindness
I went to the post office today to mail a bill and a great building kindness idea came to me.
It used to be that there was a contraption out front where you could insert some change to buy single stamps, but apparently coins are archaic, and that machine has been replaced with a newer model that reads debit/credit cards. The only problem is you can't buy just one stamp. The smallest denomination available is 18 stamps for just under $8. If you want to buy fewer than 18 stamps, you have to wait in line for a postman. I don't know if it was the time of day I went, or if the place is always packed like that, but the line to the counter was long. So, I did what any normal American would do in the situation... I chalked one up for convenience and bought way more than I needed.
This was when the idea came to me...
I figured that there are probably several people each day that only need one stamp, so I went out to my truck and cut three stamps from my sheet of 18. I got out three Build Kindness cards, and using some handy painters tape, I attached one stamp to the back of each card. Beside the stamps I wrote "first-class kindness" on each of the cards. I took the postage-loaded cards inside and left one on each of the package prep tables in the post office.
How many opportunities to build kindness do you pass up each day? It cost me less than $1.50 to help three people today. Can you think of other ways for using an overabundance of something to benefit others? I'd love to hear what you come up with!
It used to be that there was a contraption out front where you could insert some change to buy single stamps, but apparently coins are archaic, and that machine has been replaced with a newer model that reads debit/credit cards. The only problem is you can't buy just one stamp. The smallest denomination available is 18 stamps for just under $8. If you want to buy fewer than 18 stamps, you have to wait in line for a postman. I don't know if it was the time of day I went, or if the place is always packed like that, but the line to the counter was long. So, I did what any normal American would do in the situation... I chalked one up for convenience and bought way more than I needed.
This was when the idea came to me...
I figured that there are probably several people each day that only need one stamp, so I went out to my truck and cut three stamps from my sheet of 18. I got out three Build Kindness cards, and using some handy painters tape, I attached one stamp to the back of each card. Beside the stamps I wrote "first-class kindness" on each of the cards. I took the postage-loaded cards inside and left one on each of the package prep tables in the post office.
How many opportunities to build kindness do you pass up each day? It cost me less than $1.50 to help three people today. Can you think of other ways for using an overabundance of something to benefit others? I'd love to hear what you come up with!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Kindness Sunday
To all the sporty folks out there... remember when the greatest reward for a game well played was ice cream or cokes with the team. In Fairview, Sonic was the consummate favorite for post game shenanigans. At the time, I thought we always went there because that's where we (the kids) wanted to go. We knew Sonic for its ice cream treats and soft drink variety... but now that I'm older, I am starting to see Sonic more from the the parents' prospective. Yes, the place has great eats and treats, but Sonic has tons of post athletics logistical advantages too.
Just think about it. You've got a double digit group of dirty, loud, excited little kids. Do you want to take them to O'Charley's?! No, you want to go somewhere that's outside, informal and caters to the hyper. You want to take them to Sonic. At Sonic parents don't need to worry about changing their kids out of their cleats and uniforms. When the little brats start reliving the game's most exciting plays in full volume and real time speed, parents can confidently step back and allow them their moments of glory.
I'm thinking about Sonic because... well, that's what highly intelligent Middle Tennesseans do when the weather makes an upward turn for Spring and softball season is on the horizon. I have a lot of good memories from my times at Sonic. Even as twenty-something adults, it remains a post game ritual for a group of us go to the Sonic near the softball fields in Franklin for drinks, food and the quintessential Sonic Blast.
Since I like Sonic so much, why no share the love? The picture you see below I taped $2.25 to one of my Build Kindness cards. I thought that it would be neat if I left the card randomly on one of the menu boards. I put it out on Friday, and I know for sure that is was still there Saturday. I didn't check on it again until Thursday, and it was gone. So, success... I think. Someone got it, I just don't know how, when or what they did with it. It would be intriguing to know the circumstances behind the discovery, but I'm not crossing my fingers. Instead, I'd be interested to hear your feedback. What would you think if you found this card? What would you do with the money? Would you go to the blog?
Just think about it. You've got a double digit group of dirty, loud, excited little kids. Do you want to take them to O'Charley's?! No, you want to go somewhere that's outside, informal and caters to the hyper. You want to take them to Sonic. At Sonic parents don't need to worry about changing their kids out of their cleats and uniforms. When the little brats start reliving the game's most exciting plays in full volume and real time speed, parents can confidently step back and allow them their moments of glory.
I'm thinking about Sonic because... well, that's what highly intelligent Middle Tennesseans do when the weather makes an upward turn for Spring and softball season is on the horizon. I have a lot of good memories from my times at Sonic. Even as twenty-something adults, it remains a post game ritual for a group of us go to the Sonic near the softball fields in Franklin for drinks, food and the quintessential Sonic Blast.
Since I like Sonic so much, why no share the love? The picture you see below I taped $2.25 to one of my Build Kindness cards. I thought that it would be neat if I left the card randomly on one of the menu boards. I put it out on Friday, and I know for sure that is was still there Saturday. I didn't check on it again until Thursday, and it was gone. So, success... I think. Someone got it, I just don't know how, when or what they did with it. It would be intriguing to know the circumstances behind the discovery, but I'm not crossing my fingers. Instead, I'd be interested to hear your feedback. What would you think if you found this card? What would you do with the money? Would you go to the blog?
That's What He Said
Yesterday I discovered something about my blog. It may be giving some people the wrong impression.
Jeff's girlfriend (Scheibe's sister) asked me a while back to put up curtains in her new apartment. This was well before I thought about starting "building kindness." I told her that I would do it... yet here it is, several months down the road and I still haven't been over there.
I figured there's no time like the present, so I wanted to schedule it for this week. I also thought it would be good to get Jeff to assist me. Having been with the same woman for over eight years now, I understand how important it is to do nice things for your significant other. I wouldn't really need him to hang the curtains, but if he helped then he could take the credit for getting it done. Also, it might empower him to do similar things in the future... kind of like the old Chinese proverb, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
I called Jeff and asked him if there was a time this week he'd be free to help and his response was, "You're just doing this for your blog." It hurt my feelings at first, but I can see how he might have thought this. Most people probably define an act of kindness as something you do completely for someone else. Doing something for someone so that it will reflect positively on you is not a random act of kindness. Jeff was obviously thinking I'm doing the blog as extension of the latter.
Have you ever seen one of those large, ornate sand mandalas the Tibetan monks create? Probably not. The reason you've probability never seen one is because after the monks spend weeks creating this amazing work of art, they destroy it. Why? What's the point? They say the doing, the act, is the point... not the gratification from the oohs and ahhs.
I agree with the monks. It is the action that causes the change and that's where the benefit comes from. But who or what are the monks trying to improve? The answer: themselves. It is so true, whenever I do something for someone, it’s like a bright light that forms inward and works its way through every part of me. It hits my emotions, my perceptions, my actions and even my physical body. Each act betters me... but building kindness isn't just about me.
I considered doing my acts randomly and anonymously, but concluded that I wanted to experiment with something new. Random acts obviously spread good (refer to this post for an example), but how far will it go? A random act influences me and the person it is directed toward, but then what? You can hope for the pay it forward desire to kick in (there are definitely great stories of amazing things happening this way), but how sustainable is that?
The concept of Building Kindness is different. It is continuous. If witnessing a single act of kindness inspires someone to do a single act in return, what would witnessing continuous acts of kindness do? What is the value of drawing people into a community of kindness? I don't have an answer to these questions, but I hope to find out and the blog is my lab.
The problem remains: How do I keep people from perceiving my blog as an attempt to glorify myself? Maybe the first step would be to get them to read it. Another thing I need to do is be more careful about the acts I choose and who I discuss them with outside the blog. If every time I see a friend I mention my blog... of course it would seem like I'm tooting my own horn.
I'm glad Jeff said what he said. It has been thought provoking, and ultimately, it has given me a better understand of my own mission. Thanks for being honest and genuine with me Jeff!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Keep Your Eye on the Ball/Bird
I've been building kindness daily for nearly a month now, and some days I'm really in the zone! I wake up thinking kindness, I work looking forward to kindness, I do kindness, I blog about kindness, and then I go to sleep and dream about kindness (the dream part is an exaggeration).
Unfortunately, not everyday is this concentrated on kindness. Thursday for example, kindness crossed my mind several times, but it was gone just about as quickly as it appeared. The video below is a good metaphor for how my mind treats thoughts about kindness on some days. In the clip, the bird is a thought about kindness. The baseball is another thought that is... apparently more important.
See how fast the bird disappears? I know, I'm terrible.
But if I'm being honest, this is a lot like how last Thursday was for me. I went all day and hadn't come up with anything to do... not because I had kindness-block, but because I just didn't think about it. Luckily, Arby's had me covered. Jen and I went to Arby's (bc we had a coupon and that place is pricey) for dinner and the girl ringing us up asked if we'd like to donate a dollar to the Big Brothers, Big Sisters of America. POW! Instant roll reversal- all my other thoughts immediately became the bird. I quickly responded yes and whipped out an extra buck.
Jen was like, "huh?" and I explained that I hadn't done anything to build kindness today. She laughed her cute little laugh and wrote my name on one of the pieces of paper they use to show off everyone who's donated. Now that I'm letting people read my blog, maybe I'll donate another dollar at Arby's and write BuildKindess.com instead of my name.
Unfortunately, not everyday is this concentrated on kindness. Thursday for example, kindness crossed my mind several times, but it was gone just about as quickly as it appeared. The video below is a good metaphor for how my mind treats thoughts about kindness on some days. In the clip, the bird is a thought about kindness. The baseball is another thought that is... apparently more important.
See how fast the bird disappears? I know, I'm terrible.
But if I'm being honest, this is a lot like how last Thursday was for me. I went all day and hadn't come up with anything to do... not because I had kindness-block, but because I just didn't think about it. Luckily, Arby's had me covered. Jen and I went to Arby's (bc we had a coupon and that place is pricey) for dinner and the girl ringing us up asked if we'd like to donate a dollar to the Big Brothers, Big Sisters of America. POW! Instant roll reversal- all my other thoughts immediately became the bird. I quickly responded yes and whipped out an extra buck.
Jen was like, "huh?" and I explained that I hadn't done anything to build kindness today. She laughed her cute little laugh and wrote my name on one of the pieces of paper they use to show off everyone who's donated. Now that I'm letting people read my blog, maybe I'll donate another dollar at Arby's and write BuildKindess.com instead of my name.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Wii Little Mistake
Have you noticed the one-day-impulse-buy phenomenon sweeping the internet? Basically, online retailers are putting single items on sale for the limited time of one day. It's good for the consumers, because they get great deals on things, and it's good for the retailers because they're moving a lot of product and driving traffic to their sites daily.
Woot.com is the originator of this idea. Being the first, they really raked in the dough for a while. But now that there are so many deal-a-day sites, they're starting to lose some followers. To counter this, woot has added a new extension to their original site, sellout.woot.com. The main purpose of sellout.woot is to let other deal sites piggyback off of woots success. It's pretty smart if you think about it. They are going to lose market share no matter what, so at least this way they get paid something when people go to the other sites.
The other day I saw an amazing deal for a rechargeable Wii remote station. It was such a good price, I bought it for my parents. Wednesday it arrived in the mail, so I packed it up and took it to give to them as my act to build kindness for the day. Unfortunately... I left it in the car. It wasn't until Jen and I were headed back home that I remembered the Wii station.
So... today was my first mess-up with the build kindness thing. Sorry Mom and Dad... it's at your house now.
Look at all the major sites doing daily deals now thanks to woot's idea:
Woot.com is the originator of this idea. Being the first, they really raked in the dough for a while. But now that there are so many deal-a-day sites, they're starting to lose some followers. To counter this, woot has added a new extension to their original site, sellout.woot.com. The main purpose of sellout.woot is to let other deal sites piggyback off of woots success. It's pretty smart if you think about it. They are going to lose market share no matter what, so at least this way they get paid something when people go to the other sites.
The other day I saw an amazing deal for a rechargeable Wii remote station. It was such a good price, I bought it for my parents. Wednesday it arrived in the mail, so I packed it up and took it to give to them as my act to build kindness for the day. Unfortunately... I left it in the car. It wasn't until Jen and I were headed back home that I remembered the Wii station.
So... today was my first mess-up with the build kindness thing. Sorry Mom and Dad... it's at your house now.
- Amazon
- Dell
- eBay
- Wal-Mart
- New Balance
- and my personal favorite... Air Guns Daily
- there are even sites set up to help you make your own daily deal web store... Deal of the Day Shop Solutions
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Rustoleum Angels in the Yard
Didn't I just say something in a post about Jana being a messy painter? Well, if you were looking for another reason to parallel the twins, here it is:
This is a photo of their front yard. As you can see, they live in the ghetto. Also, it's obvious that there has been some messy painting going on. This time however... the culprit was Kelsey.
She wasn't tagging her yard. Actually, she was being crafty and used spray paint to jazz up some picture frames. If you're asking yourself, "Why in the front yard for everyone to see?" The answer is... because she already tried it on the kitchen counters, and the result wasn't something that would grow back!
Dun Da Da Dun! Here comes Build Kindness to save the day. Kelsey told me about her predicament and how she couldn't get the paint off her counters. Regular cleaning supplies weren't doing the trick and she was afraid to use something more acidic for fear of making the problem worse. Luckily, I knew of a product at home depot specially formulated for removing paint from laminate.
So Tuesday, while I was at home depot getting supplies for a project I'm working on, I also picked up an 8 ounce tin of Goo Gone. That night when Jen and I had dinner with the twins and Schiebe at Pei Wei, I gave it to them. If we're lucky, maybe Kelsey will be kind enough to add some first hand commentary on her experience.
This is a photo of their front yard. As you can see, they live in the ghetto. Also, it's obvious that there has been some messy painting going on. This time however... the culprit was Kelsey.
She wasn't tagging her yard. Actually, she was being crafty and used spray paint to jazz up some picture frames. If you're asking yourself, "Why in the front yard for everyone to see?" The answer is... because she already tried it on the kitchen counters, and the result wasn't something that would grow back!
Dun Da Da Dun! Here comes Build Kindness to save the day. Kelsey told me about her predicament and how she couldn't get the paint off her counters. Regular cleaning supplies weren't doing the trick and she was afraid to use something more acidic for fear of making the problem worse. Luckily, I knew of a product at home depot specially formulated for removing paint from laminate.
So Tuesday, while I was at home depot getting supplies for a project I'm working on, I also picked up an 8 ounce tin of Goo Gone. That night when Jen and I had dinner with the twins and Schiebe at Pei Wei, I gave it to them. If we're lucky, maybe Kelsey will be kind enough to add some first hand commentary on her experience.
Need a locked door opened? Don't call a Smith, call an Anderson.
Monday, my mom called to see if I would come to her house and break into my granny's truck. Apparently my granny had a doctors appointment and was at my parent's place so my mom and her could go together. The thing is, she locked her keys in her car. My mom knows that I'm handy and getting into locked places just so happens to be one of my talents. So, as my act to build kindness for the day, I swung by my house to pick up some tools and headed there to help. All and all, it took me about 3 minutes to open her truck, but it got me thinking. One, why did my mom think to call me first, and two, why was she right?
It's intriguing to think about how things from our childhood mold us as adults. For example, the summer before my 8th grade year, my family moved to a house located on a secluded street directly behind the middle and high schools. When I rode my bike, chipped golf balls, roller-bladed or wanted to be mischievous... I'd usually gravitate to school property.
Yeah, I'll admit it, I was a mischievous kid. But, I was a product of my situation. During the day, school was all about rules and was filled with rule enforcing teachers. The thing was, when school was out and all the kids went home, the rules enforcers left too. That left me all alone, free to turn the school into my playground.
I remember my first time going inside the school when no one else was there. I stayed in the hallways and creeped like a scared mouse around every corner. The next few times, the front door was locked, so I went around the building trying every door until one opened. On the occasions that I got inside, I was vigilant and quiet, doing things like using the computers or looking at books in the library. Eventually, I took ownership of the school. I started jamming exterior locks with homemade paper contraptions and I taught myself to open interior doors with a credit card. I learned that the best place to roller-blade wasn't on the sidewalks, but down the halls. The best place to go during hide-and-seek was in the ceiling or on the roof. I knew all the ins and outs of the school and I was the only one! When it was all said and done, I had been through every door and in every room.
I wrote on my profile description that "I enjoy more things than anyone else I know." The reason is that I don't perceive limitations like most people. What if my first time in the school I would have been caught by a teacher and punished? I probably would have continued to view the school like everyone else... as a place that gets used between 7:30 and 2:30 and is off limits beyond that. Fortunately, I never got caught and as a result I don't see things like everyone else. I look at each day as an opportunity for adventure and change, and I envision that there can be more to life than the average or the norm. I see more than the path that's already been paved; I see the one that doesn't exist yet.
The ironic thing is, my senior year... the principle gave me a key to the school. No joke!
It's intriguing to think about how things from our childhood mold us as adults. For example, the summer before my 8th grade year, my family moved to a house located on a secluded street directly behind the middle and high schools. When I rode my bike, chipped golf balls, roller-bladed or wanted to be mischievous... I'd usually gravitate to school property.
Yeah, I'll admit it, I was a mischievous kid. But, I was a product of my situation. During the day, school was all about rules and was filled with rule enforcing teachers. The thing was, when school was out and all the kids went home, the rules enforcers left too. That left me all alone, free to turn the school into my playground.
I remember my first time going inside the school when no one else was there. I stayed in the hallways and creeped like a scared mouse around every corner. The next few times, the front door was locked, so I went around the building trying every door until one opened. On the occasions that I got inside, I was vigilant and quiet, doing things like using the computers or looking at books in the library. Eventually, I took ownership of the school. I started jamming exterior locks with homemade paper contraptions and I taught myself to open interior doors with a credit card. I learned that the best place to roller-blade wasn't on the sidewalks, but down the halls. The best place to go during hide-and-seek was in the ceiling or on the roof. I knew all the ins and outs of the school and I was the only one! When it was all said and done, I had been through every door and in every room.
I wrote on my profile description that "I enjoy more things than anyone else I know." The reason is that I don't perceive limitations like most people. What if my first time in the school I would have been caught by a teacher and punished? I probably would have continued to view the school like everyone else... as a place that gets used between 7:30 and 2:30 and is off limits beyond that. Fortunately, I never got caught and as a result I don't see things like everyone else. I look at each day as an opportunity for adventure and change, and I envision that there can be more to life than the average or the norm. I see more than the path that's already been paved; I see the one that doesn't exist yet.
The ironic thing is, my senior year... the principle gave me a key to the school. No joke!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Burger Connoisseur
I'm not known for trying new foods. The twins (Jana and Kelsey) often make fun of me by saying that I only eat chicken strips and french fries. Of course, they're exaggerating. I pass on chicken fingers in favor of cheese burgers close to 90 percent of the time.
There are a lot of factors that go into choosing a meal. Obviously there is price, taste and portion size, but almost as important is "how is this going to complement my sweet tea?" Beef has proven itself to me. I could sit here and defend my meal selection all day, but the point is I'm right and they're wrong. Nonetheless, I do have to admit that my taste buds have changed since I was younger. More foods taste acceptable to me now, and it doesn't make sense to miss out on good grub because of habit.
I've done several things to expand my flavor comprehension. Mainly, I've been ordering new things. A couple nights ago I went as far as to tell the waiter at Carrabba's to pick something for me- anything without mushrooms. The meal he showed up with was a grilled chicken stuffed with fontina cheese and prosciutto, topped with a basil lemon butter sauce... and was amazing. Now if I could just find a way to eat new things and build kindness, I'd be in luck.
Sunday, I attend the 17th Annual Soup Sunday with Jen and Scheibe. Soup Sunday is a fundraiser where chefs from over 50 Nashville area restaurants dish out their best broths, stews and chowders to hungry do-gooders. All the attendees, along with a handful of celebrity guest judges, taste the soups and vote for their favorites. This year's event was attended by 1500+ people and raised more than $80,000 for Our Kids, an organization that provides medical evaluations and crisis counseling for children struggling with issues of child sexual abuse.
It was both filling and fulfilling. Look at all our empty soup cups.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Go Granny Go
So far all of the acts for building kindness that I've done have been smaller. It makes sense that I can't do large things everyday, but it's nice to do something major once in a while. Last Saturday I did my first BIG act to build kindness.
My Granny has had some medical issues lately and she's now reliant on an oxygen tank 24/7. This has created some mobility issues for her. The good news is that last month she was approve for a power chair. The bad news is that she couldn't use it because her house didn't have a ramp.
Insert me, the builder of kindness and wooden structures. My parents bought the materials and I provided the tools, design and labor. If you count picking up the lumber, the hour and a half of driving and the construction itself... the whole project took about 5 hours. Here are a couple pictures. One of me and my brother building the ramp and the other of the completed project.
My Granny has had some medical issues lately and she's now reliant on an oxygen tank 24/7. This has created some mobility issues for her. The good news is that last month she was approve for a power chair. The bad news is that she couldn't use it because her house didn't have a ramp.
Insert me, the builder of kindness and wooden structures. My parents bought the materials and I provided the tools, design and labor. If you count picking up the lumber, the hour and a half of driving and the construction itself... the whole project took about 5 hours. Here are a couple pictures. One of me and my brother building the ramp and the other of the completed project.
"Sophisiticated Southern Dining"
My act to build kindness for last Friday was twofold. My wife has been wanting to go to this fine dining restaurant in Franklin called Red Pony. I grew up just outside of Franklin and had never heard of it, so I thought that I'd do some research on the place to have idea of the cost and what type of food they serve. When I searched "red pony" in Google, the restaurant listing was the second one on the page. With the website experience I have (I was an e-commerce director for 2 years), I know how good that is. Unfortunately, this was the listing that came up:
So as one of the folds from my twofold act to build kindness, I emailed info@redponyrestaurant.com and gently told them about the error. They still haven't written me back and it hasn't been changed yet, but at least someone is aware.
As the other act from my twofold kindness, I took my wife to the Red Pony. I'm not going to tell you how much the meal cost, but it was very good. If you're the type of person that really enjoys good food, I'd most definitely recommend the Red Pony Restaurant. This is where Jen and I sat.
A Method to the Box
Jana painted for me again today. She drove her own car, so no maintenance required. Instead, as my act to build kindness, I treated her to lunch. Right now Taco Bell has these two NBA Boxes. The one I like is the Volcano Box. It comes with so much food that I had to train myself to eat the whole thing.
I'm not kidding. Here's the secret formula for completing a $5 Volcano Box.
I'm not kidding. Here's the secret formula for completing a $5 Volcano Box.
- The box comes with a drink. Make it a BajaBlast with either light or no ice. It's kinda like Joey Chestnut at the Nathan's hot dog eating contest... you'll need the liquid lubrication to fit everything into your stomach.
- Back in the day, pre-box era, I'd save my hard shell tacos for last (the longer you let the meat sit in the shell, the less likely the bottom will burst out when you go to eat it). However, for the Volcano Box... you have to mix it up a bit. Start by eating the Volcano Taco. The main reason for eating this first is because it has the most potent taste of all the box items, and it's good to get it out of the way b/c it's not easy to force something hard and spicy down a full stomach. Sip BajaBlast as necessary.
- Next eat a 2-3 cinnamon twists. We'll be dividing up the twists and and eating them between the main items. This is what I call the whittle effect. Before you know it... all the cinnamon twists will be gone.
- Now eat the Regular Taco. If it tastes slightly bland after the Volcano Taco, feel free to ad some hot or fire sauce. Even though the cooling effect is not needed for this item, remember to sip BajaBlast occasionally.
- Eat a few more cinnamon twists. Notice how they act as a nice palate cleanser, prepping your mouth for the next item. You want about a third of the twists to be left when you're done with this step.
- Now for the hard part. You're about to tackle the mighty Double Stuffed Volcano Burrito. It's imperative that you commit to eating the whole thing before you start. It's not going to be easy, but with the right resolve... you can do it. Use your hands to level out the burrito. You want each bite to contain roughly the same mass. When you get to the end, I know you'll feel like exploding, but take as big a breath as your compacted chest cavity will allow and power through.
- You did it! Now as a treat, go ahead and finish off those tasty little cinnamon twists. You may want to stand up and walk/waddle around. If you have any BajaBlast left, now's a good time to finish this as well. Take the lid off the empty cup so you have something to puke into if the urge hits you. And you're done. Congrats!
Today I'm Official!
I now own the web address BuildKindness.com! At any point in the future if someone types this address into a web browser, they will be automatically forwarded to this blog. The question is, why would someone think to type this address into a web browser? I'm one step ahead of you. I ordered business cards! I got them for free at VistaPrint.com and they came in today.
The idea is that when I do an act of kindness, I hand out one of these cards. Hopefully, the recipient of the kind act will come to the blog and read the post about my experience helping them. Maybe they'll even spread the word and others will come to the blog. The more visitors we get, the more comments will be made, the more a unique community of people inspired to do kind things will form.
The objective is to BUILD KINDNESS. Get it?! I am so excited!
The idea is that when I do an act of kindness, I hand out one of these cards. Hopefully, the recipient of the kind act will come to the blog and read the post about my experience helping them. Maybe they'll even spread the word and others will come to the blog. The more visitors we get, the more comments will be made, the more a unique community of people inspired to do kind things will form.
The objective is to BUILD KINDNESS. Get it?! I am so excited!
New Headlight
I've been having my wife's sister, Jana, help with some painting at a house I'm remodeling. To understand Jana's panting technique just picture in your mind what would happen if you dropped a cherry bomb in a can of paint. The result is what Jana looks like when she paints. It's like she dips her hands into the paint and proceeds to get into a fight with the walls. The hard part is figuring out who won.
Anyways, Jana drives a ruby red Nissan Cube. Monday, she showed up to work in her roommate's car. My first thought was that Jana wrecked her car again. My second thought was that she opted not to drive the Cube because she was respecting my jobsite, and knows how embarrassed I get when I'm around her car.
Wrong x2.
Jana was in Kelsey's car because it had a headlight out. She said she was going to take it by an auto repair shop after work, but Kelsey could have done that without involving Jana, so I kinda figured that they had hoped I would to do it for them. Being the handy person that I am (and needing an act to build kindness for the day) I followed Jana to an O'Reilly Auto Parts and changed the light in the parking lot. I don't know how much the repair shop would have charged for the service, but you gotta figure it would have been more than the $10 a new headlight costs.
Anyways, Jana drives a ruby red Nissan Cube. Monday, she showed up to work in her roommate's car. My first thought was that Jana wrecked her car again. My second thought was that she opted not to drive the Cube because she was respecting my jobsite, and knows how embarrassed I get when I'm around her car.
Wrong x2.
Jana was in Kelsey's car because it had a headlight out. She said she was going to take it by an auto repair shop after work, but Kelsey could have done that without involving Jana, so I kinda figured that they had hoped I would to do it for them. Being the handy person that I am (and needing an act to build kindness for the day) I followed Jana to an O'Reilly Auto Parts and changed the light in the parking lot. I don't know how much the repair shop would have charged for the service, but you gotta figure it would have been more than the $10 a new headlight costs.
Club 45
Jennifer is all about some babies right now. It's disgusting; she turns into this mushy, baby wanting blob every time an infant does something cute.
Like clock work... I know the baby conversation is soon to follow every baby encounter. I feel like a broken record. The script is always the same, "we have a plan and we ARE getting closer to NBC day." She knows this, yet for some reason she still brings it up like its the first time we're discussing it. I dunno, maybe babies generate some electromagnetic pulse that affect the portions of a woman's brain that control memory (and logic).
It's funny... before Mylo, Jennifer had never even had a puppy. When we got him, a week hadn't passed before she wanted to get rid of him because the stress of house training him was too much. It took Mylo a couple weeks to develop the anal aptitude to control his bowel movements. It's going to take a baby YEARS. When she brings up how awesome babies are, I try to remind her of things like this.
Well, we have these two engaged friends, Christopher and Anna, who do a Sunday school thing at church for 4th and 5th graders. It's called Club 45. C and A were both scheduled to be in NYC over the weekend, so they needed us to sub for Club 45. I'm not a huge fan of groups of kids in that age range, but it was a win-win. I got to help someone as part of my building kindness, AND more importantly, Jennifer was submerged in a situation that should make any sane person less excited about children.
While in NYC, C and A came across this sign and thought of us.
Like clock work... I know the baby conversation is soon to follow every baby encounter. I feel like a broken record. The script is always the same, "we have a plan and we ARE getting closer to NBC day." She knows this, yet for some reason she still brings it up like its the first time we're discussing it. I dunno, maybe babies generate some electromagnetic pulse that affect the portions of a woman's brain that control memory (and logic).
It's funny... before Mylo, Jennifer had never even had a puppy. When we got him, a week hadn't passed before she wanted to get rid of him because the stress of house training him was too much. It took Mylo a couple weeks to develop the anal aptitude to control his bowel movements. It's going to take a baby YEARS. When she brings up how awesome babies are, I try to remind her of things like this.
Well, we have these two engaged friends, Christopher and Anna, who do a Sunday school thing at church for 4th and 5th graders. It's called Club 45. C and A were both scheduled to be in NYC over the weekend, so they needed us to sub for Club 45. I'm not a huge fan of groups of kids in that age range, but it was a win-win. I got to help someone as part of my building kindness, AND more importantly, Jennifer was submerged in a situation that should make any sane person less excited about children.
While in NYC, C and A came across this sign and thought of us.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Meeting New People
Friday I played golf. Saturday I played golf. Life is hard for the kind.
Every year the Capital City Golf Association hosts a pro tournament in Nashville. The tournament is open to amateurs too, therefore it's a huge golf community event annually. This was the first tournament that Kenny Perry won when he turned pro. He credits it for giving him the confidence to believe that he can go out and win on the PGA Tour. My dad and uncle have been playing as amateurs in this tournament for a few years and last year I decided that I want to try it out too.
The deal is that if you are a member of the CCGA (which cost $60 to join) it will only cost you an additional $60 to play in this tournament. If you are not a member, then the entry fee for amateurs is $150 for this one event. So, it's a no-brainer... last year I joined the CCGA just for this one event.
This year I thought I would join earlier and play in more events. It's kind of a networking thing, but also I want to try and get more competitive with my golfing. The deal Saturday was the first event of the year hosted by the CCGA. It was a new member scramble were they take all the newbies and pair them up with older members. Of the three other golfers on my team, I only knew 1. Actually, of the 40 other golfers playing in the scramble... I only knew 2 (and one was Scheibe). It was good though.
Anyways, I wanted to make a good impression with these guys, so for my act to build kindness I bought them some Snicker's at the turn. One guy, Chris, was really excited about it. He said that the CCGA needs more new, young members like me. Even though my team didn't win, it was a fun event, and I look forward to meeting more people at other things in the year to come.
Every year the Capital City Golf Association hosts a pro tournament in Nashville. The tournament is open to amateurs too, therefore it's a huge golf community event annually. This was the first tournament that Kenny Perry won when he turned pro. He credits it for giving him the confidence to believe that he can go out and win on the PGA Tour. My dad and uncle have been playing as amateurs in this tournament for a few years and last year I decided that I want to try it out too.
The deal is that if you are a member of the CCGA (which cost $60 to join) it will only cost you an additional $60 to play in this tournament. If you are not a member, then the entry fee for amateurs is $150 for this one event. So, it's a no-brainer... last year I joined the CCGA just for this one event.
This year I thought I would join earlier and play in more events. It's kind of a networking thing, but also I want to try and get more competitive with my golfing. The deal Saturday was the first event of the year hosted by the CCGA. It was a new member scramble were they take all the newbies and pair them up with older members. Of the three other golfers on my team, I only knew 1. Actually, of the 40 other golfers playing in the scramble... I only knew 2 (and one was Scheibe). It was good though.
Anyways, I wanted to make a good impression with these guys, so for my act to build kindness I bought them some Snicker's at the turn. One guy, Chris, was really excited about it. He said that the CCGA needs more new, young members like me. Even though my team didn't win, it was a fun event, and I look forward to meeting more people at other things in the year to come.
Golf Pricks
Thursday night my dad mentioned that he was playing golf Friday afternoon with some of his friends (their group is lovingly known as the Golf Pricks- they have a website and everything). He said that they might need an extra person to even out the teams. I have a little bit of extra time built into my schedule for emergencies like this, so I said that I could be there to fill in if they needed me.
Friday arrives and my dad calls to says that he still doesn't know what their numbers are, and that if I didn't mind showing up at the golf course just to see, that would help the whole group. I did not want to do this. Kinda like the mooching thing in my last post, I knew that if I did show up, and was not needed, they would have felt obligated, because I was there, to place me into the game anyways.
The solution I came up with was to drive out there and hide in my truck. I've played with them several times before, so I was able to watch and count as everyone arrived. My dad was the only one who knew I might be coming (and he was getting there late), so I figured that if they didn't need me... I'd just leave. Well my dad told me the wrong tee time (he often does this on purpose so I show up to things early instead of on time- hypocrite) and I ended up sitting in my truck for half an hour.
Finally, when I knew what the count was I drove my truck down to the driving range and announced that I was there just in case they needed me to even out the teams. Nonetheless, this made them happy for a couple reason. One, they were about to start scrambling to find an extra person. And two, they all think they're better at golf than me and that I'm easy money. Little did they know, showing up was my act to build kindness for the day... not donating from my wallet. I played okay for my first time out (shot 83), but I ended up making two birdies on the back nine and because of their elaborate scat game... I won $28. Man, it's nice to see an immediate return on kindness.
Friday arrives and my dad calls to says that he still doesn't know what their numbers are, and that if I didn't mind showing up at the golf course just to see, that would help the whole group. I did not want to do this. Kinda like the mooching thing in my last post, I knew that if I did show up, and was not needed, they would have felt obligated, because I was there, to place me into the game anyways.
The solution I came up with was to drive out there and hide in my truck. I've played with them several times before, so I was able to watch and count as everyone arrived. My dad was the only one who knew I might be coming (and he was getting there late), so I figured that if they didn't need me... I'd just leave. Well my dad told me the wrong tee time (he often does this on purpose so I show up to things early instead of on time- hypocrite) and I ended up sitting in my truck for half an hour.
Finally, when I knew what the count was I drove my truck down to the driving range and announced that I was there just in case they needed me to even out the teams. Nonetheless, this made them happy for a couple reason. One, they were about to start scrambling to find an extra person. And two, they all think they're better at golf than me and that I'm easy money. Little did they know, showing up was my act to build kindness for the day... not donating from my wallet. I played okay for my first time out (shot 83), but I ended up making two birdies on the back nine and because of their elaborate scat game... I won $28. Man, it's nice to see an immediate return on kindness.
Oh how do I mooch thee?
Have you ever heard that poem by Elizabeth Browning called "How do I love thee?" Even if you haven't ever read the entire thing, you'd probably recognize the first two sentences: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Below I've created a spoof of this poem for your reading pleasure:
Where am I going with this? Well, as a young adult I have mooched a lot in my life. Last Thursday Jen and I went to dinner with Scheibe and his dad. In meals past I would have gladly accepted the "adult" at the table's offer the pick up the check. This time however, even though Scheibe's dad was going to treat us, I wouldn't let him. Instead I paid for everyone's dinner. I told him thanks for the offer and thanks for all the previous times we had dinner on his dime. He said, "Awe heck! We should do this more often." Good times building kindness.
How do I MOOCH thee? Let me count the ways.
I mooch thee to the bank for hard cash and dough
My hand can reach, when funds are on low
For the entertainment, drama and play.
I mooch thee to the movies on opening day
Most quiet plead, for food and good time,
I mooch thee freely, for every last dime.
My hand can reach, when funds are on low
For the entertainment, drama and play.
I mooch thee to the movies on opening day
Most quiet plead, for food and good time,
I mooch thee freely, for every last dime.
I mooch thee often, and on other's behalf.
I mooch thee with a passion turned into craft
In my old briefs, and with my ragged shoes,
I mooch thee with a calming rhythm and blues.
Smiles and tears, the heart strings I tug --- I mooch thee with all my power,
This mooching is a able drug --- I shall but mooch thee best this hour.
I mooch thee with a passion turned into craft
In my old briefs, and with my ragged shoes,
I mooch thee with a calming rhythm and blues.
Smiles and tears, the heart strings I tug --- I mooch thee with all my power,
This mooching is a able drug --- I shall but mooch thee best this hour.
Where am I going with this? Well, as a young adult I have mooched a lot in my life. Last Thursday Jen and I went to dinner with Scheibe and his dad. In meals past I would have gladly accepted the "adult" at the table's offer the pick up the check. This time however, even though Scheibe's dad was going to treat us, I wouldn't let him. Instead I paid for everyone's dinner. I told him thanks for the offer and thanks for all the previous times we had dinner on his dime. He said, "Awe heck! We should do this more often." Good times building kindness.
Spring Cleaning
It's about that time of year: College Basketball's March Madness! Unfortunately, that means it's also time for some spring cleaning (if there is one good thing that comes from Puxatony Phil seeing his shadow... it's the delay of spring cleaning). Boo cleaning. Yay basketball.
Anyways, for some reason I was really motivated to clean when I got home last Tuesday. Maybe the possibility that a news crew might be around shortly looking for the Penny Killer had me motivated to make the place presentable... who knows. All I know for sure it that it had been a smooth 6 months since I cleaned out my closet and things were out of control.
All and all it took me just a little over an hour to get my closet and office in order. Usually, I'm ready to crash after a cleaning endeavor of such magnitude, but because I had expected it to take longer I was still raring to go. So, I figured why not go clean out Jen's closet too? I started pulling out clothes that I hadn't seen in years and laying them on the bed. I figured that I'd do all the heavy lifting and she could just separate things into keep and don't keep piles. Ha. Bad idea... Jen was not in the mood to sort through anything, and the fact that I had everything on the one bed in the house meant she didn't have a choice if we were going to get sleep tonight.
Together, we finished the task fairly quickly (not as fast as my closet of course), and when all the cleaning was said and done, I had two bags of trash and two bags of old clothes. I took the trash to the dumpster area and the clothes to my truck. Hence forth, my act to build kindness for Wednesday was donating all of our un/little used clothing to Goodwill. Good deal.
Anyways, for some reason I was really motivated to clean when I got home last Tuesday. Maybe the possibility that a news crew might be around shortly looking for the Penny Killer had me motivated to make the place presentable... who knows. All I know for sure it that it had been a smooth 6 months since I cleaned out my closet and things were out of control.
All and all it took me just a little over an hour to get my closet and office in order. Usually, I'm ready to crash after a cleaning endeavor of such magnitude, but because I had expected it to take longer I was still raring to go. So, I figured why not go clean out Jen's closet too? I started pulling out clothes that I hadn't seen in years and laying them on the bed. I figured that I'd do all the heavy lifting and she could just separate things into keep and don't keep piles. Ha. Bad idea... Jen was not in the mood to sort through anything, and the fact that I had everything on the one bed in the house meant she didn't have a choice if we were going to get sleep tonight.
Together, we finished the task fairly quickly (not as fast as my closet of course), and when all the cleaning was said and done, I had two bags of trash and two bags of old clothes. I took the trash to the dumpster area and the clothes to my truck. Hence forth, my act to build kindness for Wednesday was donating all of our un/little used clothing to Goodwill. Good deal.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Here Kids, Go Play in the Street
Before I went to help Jana pick up her TV Sunday I cleaned out the cab of my truck a bit. One of the specific things I did was take the money from my coin tray and separate out the pennies from the "real money." All together I had probably 50 pennies. Just enough to get in the way. My first thought was to take the pennies to a gas station and dump them in a change jar, but that was very similar to what I did at Subway the week before, so I wanted to save that as a last resort if I couldn't come up with anything better.
Well Tuesday rolled around and I hadn't done anything with the pennies yet. It was about 5pm and I was pulling into my condo complex when an idea quickly hit me. There are two little girls that live near the front of the complex. The oldest is probably 7 and the other is... I'd guess closer to 5. They are always riding their little razor scooters around the parking lot and every time they see us walking our dogs they run up to play with them. They appear to be happy, nice kids.
I was thinking about how much fun it used to be finding a penny on the ground when I was their age. Not only was it cash money that I could buy candy with, there is the saying that finding a penny on heads is good luck. So in one fluid motion I hit the window down button, reached over for my can of pennies and dumped all of them out the driver side of my truck into the street directly in front of the girls' door. We're talking it wasn't more that 100ft between the time I came up with the idea and when I dumped the pennies.
It wasn't more than another 100ft that I thought that probably was a bad idea. I just gave these little girls a reason to play in the street. I didn't turn around and I haven't seen any ambulances since then, so we're probably good. Of course, I haven't seen the girls since then either, so I post this hesitantly (I can always delete it if need be). Really though, my mom is the only ones who reads this thing anyways, and I think she's got my back. You do... don't you mom??
Well Tuesday rolled around and I hadn't done anything with the pennies yet. It was about 5pm and I was pulling into my condo complex when an idea quickly hit me. There are two little girls that live near the front of the complex. The oldest is probably 7 and the other is... I'd guess closer to 5. They are always riding their little razor scooters around the parking lot and every time they see us walking our dogs they run up to play with them. They appear to be happy, nice kids.
I was thinking about how much fun it used to be finding a penny on the ground when I was their age. Not only was it cash money that I could buy candy with, there is the saying that finding a penny on heads is good luck. So in one fluid motion I hit the window down button, reached over for my can of pennies and dumped all of them out the driver side of my truck into the street directly in front of the girls' door. We're talking it wasn't more that 100ft between the time I came up with the idea and when I dumped the pennies.
It wasn't more than another 100ft that I thought that probably was a bad idea. I just gave these little girls a reason to play in the street. I didn't turn around and I haven't seen any ambulances since then, so we're probably good. Of course, I haven't seen the girls since then either, so I post this hesitantly (I can always delete it if need be). Really though, my mom is the only ones who reads this thing anyways, and I think she's got my back. You do... don't you mom??
Shopping for Dents?
Don't you hate it when people leave shopping carts in the parking lot because they are too lazy, inconsiderate or in too big of hurry to return them to the cart corrals?! Once when I was in college, I went to Wal-Mart with my friend Ryan and witnessed a lady not just leave her cart, but unintentionally push it into the car parked beside her. I was so blown away that I immediately ran over there and confronted her. I told her that I would take her cart for her this time, but that I was very disappointed in the lack of character she displayed by discarding the cart so inappropriately. Ryan thought it was hilarious, but I was dead serious and I'm glad that's all I said to the lady.
Last Monday, Jennifer, my wife was sick, so I went to Kroger to pick up the typical supplies: chicken noodle soup, Gatorade, NyQuil, DayQuil, toilet paper (ha), etc. When I got there I noticed an inordinate number of shopping carts poised to wreak havoc on the cars in the lot. It was cold and windy, so I assume people were trying to get out of the elements ASAP and that's why so many were left unattended. Also, it would make sense that whoever Kroger pays to round up the carts was slacking for the same reasons.
The kindness task was obvious. On my way into the store, I collected the two carts along my path and parked them inside. Yay for me and yay for building kindness! While I was busy patting myself on the back I thought about how and what I would say on my blog about the carts... and then it hit me. Each day I'm trying to go out of my way to do something kind, and collecting two carts from directly in front of me didn't require extra effort. That's something I probably would have done w/o this new found mission.
From what I saw when I pulled in, there were probably another 10 carts out there that needed moving. So, I bought my stuff and headed back out to get the rest of the carts. I ended up moving 12 more before I left for home.
For those of you from the South: a shopping cart is the same thing as a buggy. Sorry for the confusion. ;D
Last Monday, Jennifer, my wife was sick, so I went to Kroger to pick up the typical supplies: chicken noodle soup, Gatorade, NyQuil, DayQuil, toilet paper (ha), etc. When I got there I noticed an inordinate number of shopping carts poised to wreak havoc on the cars in the lot. It was cold and windy, so I assume people were trying to get out of the elements ASAP and that's why so many were left unattended. Also, it would make sense that whoever Kroger pays to round up the carts was slacking for the same reasons.
The kindness task was obvious. On my way into the store, I collected the two carts along my path and parked them inside. Yay for me and yay for building kindness! While I was busy patting myself on the back I thought about how and what I would say on my blog about the carts... and then it hit me. Each day I'm trying to go out of my way to do something kind, and collecting two carts from directly in front of me didn't require extra effort. That's something I probably would have done w/o this new found mission.
From what I saw when I pulled in, there were probably another 10 carts out there that needed moving. So, I bought my stuff and headed back out to get the rest of the carts. I ended up moving 12 more before I left for home.
For those of you from the South: a shopping cart is the same thing as a buggy. Sorry for the confusion. ;D
Possession is 9/10ths... and its in My Truck
Who here is familiar with craigslist.org? Yes, that question was rhetorical. Apparently everyone knows about craigslist. I just researched it, and CL gets 20 billion page views per month (about 20 billion more than this blog), and ranks 11th among web sites in the United States for unique monthly visitors. CL is not popular because it is a cool website. It's is beloved by all because it is a FREE place to unload your junk and buy other peoples!
Case in point- Jana, my wife's sister found a post for a TV on CL last week. It was listed as a 52" Sony HDTV for $100. When she told me about it I was like, "HA. YEAH RIGHT!" Then she asked if I would take her to pick it up in my truck, and I swear to you... if I had not just started this whole build kindness thing... I would have said no! I am not interested in chasing rainbows (meaning I was very skeptical that the deal was on the up and up).
Sunday came along and I begrudgingly made my way out to her place. I picked her up and we drove out to the house where the TV was located. I was so convinced that I was wasting my time that I didn't even get out of my truck when Jana went in to see the TV. A few minutes passed and I figured that I should go inside to make sure she wasn't being murdered. When I walked in and saw the TV (they had a basketball game on) my jaw dropped. The thing was perfect. I clicked into hurry-up mode thinking that we needed to get the TV in my truck quickly before the guy changed his mind!
We loaded the TV and headed on our way laughing about the deal. Jana knows about my blog, so she commented that I should write how I helped her pick up the TV as my building kindness for the day. I was like, "That sounds good and all, but you've heard the saying that possession is 9/10ths of the law? Okay good. Because I'm not counting picking up the TV as my act for the day. Instead, I have to consider the fact that I'll be unloading it at your house as my act."
Honestly, picking it up was easy... dropping it off was hard. I wanted to keep it so bad!
Case in point- Jana, my wife's sister found a post for a TV on CL last week. It was listed as a 52" Sony HDTV for $100. When she told me about it I was like, "HA. YEAH RIGHT!" Then she asked if I would take her to pick it up in my truck, and I swear to you... if I had not just started this whole build kindness thing... I would have said no! I am not interested in chasing rainbows (meaning I was very skeptical that the deal was on the up and up).
Sunday came along and I begrudgingly made my way out to her place. I picked her up and we drove out to the house where the TV was located. I was so convinced that I was wasting my time that I didn't even get out of my truck when Jana went in to see the TV. A few minutes passed and I figured that I should go inside to make sure she wasn't being murdered. When I walked in and saw the TV (they had a basketball game on) my jaw dropped. The thing was perfect. I clicked into hurry-up mode thinking that we needed to get the TV in my truck quickly before the guy changed his mind!
We loaded the TV and headed on our way laughing about the deal. Jana knows about my blog, so she commented that I should write how I helped her pick up the TV as my building kindness for the day. I was like, "That sounds good and all, but you've heard the saying that possession is 9/10ths of the law? Okay good. Because I'm not counting picking up the TV as my act for the day. Instead, I have to consider the fact that I'll be unloading it at your house as my act."
Honestly, picking it up was easy... dropping it off was hard. I wanted to keep it so bad!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Getting Substance at Subway
Yesterday I went to Subway for lunch with a leprechaun (my friend Jeff). After we got our sandwiches and sat down, this guy buying his food asked if either one of us had a dime. I was kinda taken back because he didn't need the dime to purchase his food. Instead, he just didn't want to walk around with 90 cents in his pocket. I am all about helping someone who can't afford food, and I don't mind if someone I'm with asks for help with making exact change... but a stranger?
I thought to myself, "That takes gall. If I were him, I would have paid with what I had and then left the 90 cents on the counter for other people who also might want to use exact change." Even though it was solicited and I didn't agree with his approach, it was building kindness, so I gave him the 10 cent.
After a while sitting, talking and eating with Jeff, it hit me that I was uselessly harsh in my opinion of the 10 cent guy. I didn't know his situation. I didn't know what he needed his money for. With the economy and job market the way it is right now, it's more likely than ever that his asking for change was preceded by serious need. Our society as a whole is so judgmental, and I hate it. Thinking more deeply about this guy's possible reasons for asking for change gave me a meaningful moment of reflection and growth.
When Jeff and I finished lunch, I went out to my car, collected about a dollar's worth of dimes and took them back inside. I sat the change on the counter and I told the kid working the register to give it to other people who need exact change.
Here is a picture of Jeff... and a picture of a leprechaun. I wasn't kidding.
I thought to myself, "That takes gall. If I were him, I would have paid with what I had and then left the 90 cents on the counter for other people who also might want to use exact change." Even though it was solicited and I didn't agree with his approach, it was building kindness, so I gave him the 10 cent.
After a while sitting, talking and eating with Jeff, it hit me that I was uselessly harsh in my opinion of the 10 cent guy. I didn't know his situation. I didn't know what he needed his money for. With the economy and job market the way it is right now, it's more likely than ever that his asking for change was preceded by serious need. Our society as a whole is so judgmental, and I hate it. Thinking more deeply about this guy's possible reasons for asking for change gave me a meaningful moment of reflection and growth.
When Jeff and I finished lunch, I went out to my car, collected about a dollar's worth of dimes and took them back inside. I sat the change on the counter and I told the kid working the register to give it to other people who need exact change.
Here is a picture of Jeff... and a picture of a leprechaun. I wasn't kidding.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Remodeler, Blogger, and now Mailman
I own a green remodeling business here in Nashville. Yesterday I got a call from one of my clients asking if I could do him a favor. He left town and forgot to put his mail on hold, so he figured that since I already have a key to his place it would make since to ask me to pick up his mail everyday. I was like, "Sure. I'll get it on my way through and just put it in your (beautifully remodeled) kitchen."
So that's it. Starting yesterday and going though till next Friday I will be picking up his mail. I figure I could count this as my acts of kindness for the next 7 days, but you and I both know that would be a cop-out, and I don't want to start copping-out this early in the game.
So that's it. Starting yesterday and going though till next Friday I will be picking up his mail. I figure I could count this as my acts of kindness for the next 7 days, but you and I both know that would be a cop-out, and I don't want to start copping-out this early in the game.
eBay Honorablilty
Let me go on record saying that I like eBay. Also, I like rock climbing. So, whenever I need to buy something for rock climbing I check out eBay first. Well, a couple weeks ago I won an auction for a new climbing rope on eBay. When I got the thing in this week, I found that it was nearly seventeen feet shorter than what was advertised on the listing. Seventeen feet may not sound like much, but that's 10% shorter than what I was told I was buying
I was quite annoyed. Nonetheless, I wanted to give the seller the benefit of the doubt, so I messaged him this: "I got the rope in today. It is as described except that it's 45 meters, not 50 meters. Did I get the wrong one?" I didn't really think he sent me the wrong rope. Truthfully, I thought he was trying to increase his profits by exaggerating the size of the rope. Obviously most all buyers would notice if something came in 50% shorter, but would they notice 10%? I felt like he was trying to scam me.
I got a response from the seller the next day. He said, "Sorry for the wrong description, it was not my intentions to mislead you or anyone else. As it was my fault, I will be glad to refund everything you paid for this plus your return postage. Or if you wish to keep it, I will gladly refund $10.00 to your PayPal account. Again it was an over-site of mine with no intentions to mislead you in any way! Let me know what you want to do." I have to admit, I was impressed by his offer. The fact that he was willing to refund me everything was pretty honorable. It's becoming more and more rare for capitalistic people do the right thing, and because he did... I wanted to thank him.
I responded to his message with this, "Thanks for the offer. I appreciate that you wanted to do the right thing. Even though the rope was a few meters short, I feel like I paid a fair price for what I received... so don't worry about any sort of refund." The truth is, I did pay a fair price. If I had gone to a retail store like REI, the same rope would have cost me over double. I could have bought a sweet new figure 8 with the $10 refund, but I ultimately decided that it was a better investment for me to use the $10 to build kindness.
Here's a pic of my new rope.
PS: If you haven't ever tried climbing, you should! Its a great workout mental and physically. I used to be very afraid of heights, and rock climbing has nearly eradicated my phobia. If your local, I recommend Climb Nashville as a good place to start.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Drive By
With the amount of fun I had yesterday playing with Annoying in the snow, I decided today to try and find an act of kindness that was a little more passive. In other words, I didn't want to talk to anyone. My original thought was to help my wife. She got a new laptop a few weeks ago (I've already been scolded several times for using it), and has been having trouble with the touch pad. Her hands are so small that when using proper typing position, her palms touch the pad and undesirably move the cursor.
I saw two potential solutions to her problem:
I looked in my rear view mirror and saw an average looking lady in an average looking car on my bumper. So, what did I do? You guessed it... I froze my butt off walking from a spot much further down the next lane. I know that that lady has no clue I passed that spot up for her, but that's not the point of what I'm doing. I want kindness to be instinctual / second nature for me. The more I do things like this, the more it will become apart of who I am.
I did end up getting my wife the mouse, but I felt more impacted by the parking spot. This commercial makes me laugh.
I saw two potential solutions to her problem:
- Buy her a wireless mouse and program the touch pad to deactivate when the mouse was present, or
- Keep letting her accidentally delete things in hope that she'd start to hate her laptop... and give it to me.
I looked in my rear view mirror and saw an average looking lady in an average looking car on my bumper. So, what did I do? You guessed it... I froze my butt off walking from a spot much further down the next lane. I know that that lady has no clue I passed that spot up for her, but that's not the point of what I'm doing. I want kindness to be instinctual / second nature for me. The more I do things like this, the more it will become apart of who I am.
I did end up getting my wife the mouse, but I felt more impacted by the parking spot. This commercial makes me laugh.
Snow Day in Nashville
I'm thinking to myself, "Self, I hate you. Look at her waddling around that car like a cat with tape on its paws. Go help her... No don't, you'll be stuck there all day... COME ON, JUST GO HELP HER!" So I walk over there and I'm like, "You need any help?" She started talking to me, but I hate to admit that I didn't listen; I was too busy trying to figure out the fastest way to get the snow off her car and out of her kill zone.
I started by brushing off the top layer of snow with my hands. This worked well. The snow was clearing quickly and the pain from the cold was distracting me from Annoying. Then I used an empty plastic cup from a recent Vandy game to scrape the layer of ice from the glass. I couldn't help but think how smart of a solution that was. I smiled because most Vandy fans are smart like that. Annoying saw me smile and thought it was about the conversation she was having at me. Ha.
The cup made quick work of the project, and I was relieved to have done my first kind deed. It hurt my hands and I probably set myself up for who knows how many one-sided chats with Annoying in the future, but I do feel better on the inside. That's the purpose of this whole thing anyways... to build kindness inside and out. I'm looking forward to finding something kind to do tomorrow.
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